Sex services have always been part of the society although their shape, status and rank through the centuries have always fluctuated to allow them to co-exist alongside the accepted social norms.
Nowadays the standing of the escort industry is something of a mixed picture, based on pragmatic compromise between legal regulation, tolerance, the personal needs of men and women, and employment rights. The escort services exist to satisfy the never-ending human necessity for intimacy, sex, and communication. They develop constantly to accommodate the desires of their clientele. The attractive women who chose to become escorts in Auckland are motivated by various reasons. For some it is the good pay, for others the freelance nature of the work. Many of them simply enjoy sex and love meeting different men; hence they have decided to make a first-class living out of what would have probably been a second-class pastime.
Whatever the reasons, the fact remains that women continue to be drawn to the escort work, and in turn men continue to be drawn the women who do this work. Because of the accessibility of escort services and the variety of women involved in them, the chances are that a man willing to find a specific type of women will be able to do so, provided he does a bit of research. Prospective clients would also benefit from some inside information to help them prepare for the encounter and make the most of it. Women escorts can reach out for resources to help them in their chosen career path. If the written information is not enough, they can always rely on advice from an older, more experienced colleague. Not so with their clients – typically men would not be too open to explore details of this topic with friends, acquaintances, or co-workers. As a party to the transaction men are paying for the services of a woman they fancy, purchasing a slice of her time in the hope of excitement and satisfaction. Therefore, some more in-depth information can save them a lot of worry, throw some light on areas they cannot find much detail about, and point them in the right direction to ensure their date with an escort girl will be pleasing and stress-free.
Men can experience fears or anxieties related to meeting an escort in New Zealand, mostly to do with uncertainly about what the encounter will be like and what is expected of them in terms of the behaviour and manners. There is some generally accepted protocol and sticking to its main points will guarantee that the client will be well-accepted and perfectly treated, and maybe even win a place in the escort’s list of most wanted customers. After all, prostitutes are women with their personal preferences, likes and dislikes, and while being entirely professional, they can still show favouritism.
Before booking any private escort girl in Auckland, some men may experience doubts and mistrust. Some may even see it as a poor reflection on their self-image of a decent individual, living his life in accordance with the societal values and within the accepted behavioural framework. If a man feels that meeting a private escort girl will somehow impact negatively on his worth, his sentiment can colour the whole experience and stop him enjoying the multiple benefits of the encounter. To get a fuller picture, free of judgemental and pre-conceived ideas, it is useful to find out in the first place why men see escorts. Once they identify their own circumstances within the span of motives, many prospective customers will realise their reasons are not that unique after all!
Why men meet escort girls in New Zealand
The simple, straightforward answer is that men can feel lonely. They might feel isolated some of the time or most of the time. Their lives might be devoid of intimacy for a variety of reasons. They might be divorced, widowed, or never married. They might be in a bad or sexless relationship or trapped in a loveless marriage. They might need the convenience of occasional sex, with none of the complications around maintaining a full-blown romantic liaison or extramarital affair. These feelings can affect all types of men. They might be of the confident or more timid type; they might be introverts or have plenty of friends – at some point in their lives all these men can suffer sexual frustration and unfulfillment. They might be shy, nervous, scared of intimacy. They might be sexual novices, unexperienced lovers who want to learn how to satisfy a woman. Or they might be elderly, in poor health, losing trust in their sexual competence, but still eager to experience intimacy and affection.
They might be too busy, dedicating long hours of work to demanding careers that are swallowing their time and energy. They might be putting off marriage for the sake of advancing in their job, or they might have decided to enjoy the life of a single man and avoid the complexity of steady relationship altogether. They might be the type of men who do not wish to connect with a woman on a deeper level, preferring instead transient, fleeting contacts. They might feel emotionally unprepared for the huge commitments of family life. They might have been through a painful breakup or a bitter divorce, costing them dearly in money, assets, and self-worth. They might need the reassuring warmth of female company after terrible experience that has left them disappointed and hurt. They might be caring for ill spouse, or enjoy single life between relationships, feeling free to pursue pleasures without ties and promises. Whatever their situation, at some point in life men might feel a desire for sex and intimacy outside the borders of romantic or habitual relationship – and in all these circumstances they can turn safely to escorts to fulfil their needs.
And often, when they do, another question crops up, the answer to which varies widely– is paying for sex ok? Does it not reflect poorly on the man who is buying woman’s erotic services?
Paying for sex
The discussion about the rights and wrongs of purchasing sex is one that is often framed in ethical terms and attracts moral judgements. The debate which historically has been strongly influenced by puritanical attitudes often focus on the idea that paying for sex is somehow exploitative and demeaning. However, both men and women who take part in a commercial sexual transaction can feel positive about the nature of the deal they enter freely, independently, and willingly. Women enjoy the possibility to earn while their skills are being appreciated. Sex can feel exceedingly good to both men and women, so it is valuable, like other positive experiences in life. Some women are exceedingly good in providing it and therefore feel they are perfectly entitled to put a price on their expertise. Men, on their part, are using the services because of benefits, both in financial and social terms. For some men meeting private NZ escorts is a way to preserve another relationship (with a wife or a long-term partner) that might have run into difficulties. They might be in an otherwise stable relationship, but with sex and/or affection desperately missing from it. Or the man might have a desire for specific type of sex that can be met within his current relationship. He might be sexually incompatible with his partner or simply left unsatisfied on a basic sexual level. In such settings, paying for sex with a professional escort girl would not be different to seeking the help of a therapist or a relationship counsellor, who similarly have set fees for their expertise.
For some men hiring an escort girl might be a purely financial decision, an alternative to an expensive dating protocol. Often men meet women as part of some pseudo romantic set-up where they do not have much interest in dating but are hoping to have sex with their date at the end of the evening. As a result, and to satisfy the social convention, they must invest financially prior to even broaching the subject of sex. They are expected, for example, to pay for a dinner in a luxury restaurant with all the attributes of romantic evening, such as flowers, presents, taxis etc. Overall, these expenses may easily exceed the sum of what an experienced escort would charge for her time. On top of that, men must invest psychologically in the evening – they must spend hours listening to a woman they do not have that much interest in, apart from her being a potential sexual partner. They have to engage in flattery and endless talk, and this might be excruciating for those of them who don’t enjoy at all the social side of the meeting, and are simply after sexual release (which, in any event, is not guaranteed at the end of the evening). Thus, men are compelled to go through what they see as meaningless process, with only a vague promise of sex at the end of it, and without any certainty about how it will unfold. In contrast, if a man decides to abandon the dating convention with all its pitfalls, and opt to meet a private escort instead, he will bypass this stage or at least shorten it significantly and then get straight to the fun part. On balance, if a man is pressured to maintain some form of romantic relationship just so he can receive sex through it, he is in fact paying for sex. And it will be sex without the expert touch and the understanding independent NZ escorts provide. There is nothing wrong with dating per se if this is what the man wants. However, if he does not feel inclined to date but does so to achieve only sexual relief, he is making a bad financial move. Instead of entering a relationship with its many adjacent intricacies and uncertainty, he could just have a session with an independent escort girl. This will provide him with exactly what he wants – some conversation followed by sex - and all this for a fraction of the extortionate price of a long-term commitment.
Besides, men pay not just in money. When a man works to sustain a relationship he dislikes, he pays in time, efforts, even in dignity. If he is constantly trying to please a woman who is oblivious to his sexual desires, he incurs a heavy psychological cost. When he is tirelessly striving to achieve sexual validation from a cold and indifferent partner, his sense of self-worth erodes. When he loses his independence, sacrifices his career, and abandons his friends he is swapping a happy and well-organised single life for a chaotic and miserable co-existence. And all this is because of the societal pressures on him to settle down before he has truly made up his own mind about it. The escort services provide arrangement of convenience – it will satisfy a man’s desires without causing complications in the aftermath.
Booking an escort in Auckland
Once the man has decided that he would like to book an escort, another question arises: How does one go on about this? There are many dated ideas about the scene in which adult services operate. Some men imagine having to trawl through the seedy corners of the city, in dark and deserted streets where, as per the descriptions in the Victorian novels, the women of ill repute congregate. The reality could not be further from this image – most often the escort details nowadays are to be found on the pages of NZ escort directories or within the adult gigs sections on specialised websites. The modern-day escort agencies are run as professionally and efficiently as any business. Their pages feature women of various ages, skin colour, builds and ethnicities to cater for all tastes and preferences. A prospective client might also seek recommendation from a friend who has used the services of either an agency or an independent Auckland escort girl. The adult industry is not that different to other professions. Here too clients use referrals by a word of mouth to recommend trusted and reputable professionals whose services they have used before.
Even at this initial stage of enquiry the client should always treat the escort girl with respect; good manners are essential here like in any other field. The transaction of sex is still viewed in some sections of society as controversial, but this does not make women involved in this business less of professionals in their field. They are not inferior to the experts in more conventional occupations. The escorts possess a great deal of knowledge about social interactions and at the very least are owed pleasant attitude and civility from their clients. The customer should never use harsh or rude language and should be mindful of the etiquette from the start.
The initial contact with the escort girls can be via phone or email. The client needs to be clear about his wishes. For avoidance of any ambiguity he should make up his mind prior to contacting the woman or the escort agency about his particular wishes and anticipations. It is important that he is specific about them, while also allowing for a degree of flexibility. The client might want to book the services of particular call girl or he might be after a specific body type, ethnicity, or skin colour. He should be clear about these requirements. Next, he will need to specify the service itself – erotic massage, sex service etc, as they involve different things. He needs to be clear about his sexual expectations and use the escort advertisiment as a point of reference – usually dos and don’ts are clearly specified there. A masseuse offers erotic massage as a form of relaxation and stress relief. This might be a massage only, or it might be offered as a prelude to sexual contact. To avoid misunderstanding, the full extent of the service needs to be made clear before the booking. It is considered extremely bad form to insist on services outside the agreed service, whether by offering extra payment or by some other type of haggling during the encounter. The call girl clearly outlines her personal boundaries which should be recognised and accepted by the client.
The agency will take steps to verify the identity of the client and ensure that the booking is genuine. During that stage the customer should be prepared to offer some form of identification and contact details. A reputable escort agency will never compromise the requirements for confidentiality and misuse client’s information. The same applies for the private Auckland call girls who are aware of the need to keep all clients’ personal details strictly private.
When choosing prostitutes entirely on the basis of a picture the client should ensure the photos are verified as genuine. It is possible some prostitutes might use stock photos or pictures that do not belong to them for their adverts, so if the client’s choice is entirely influenced by the picture, he should ask for its authenticity to be verified prior to the booking. Most escort directories in New Zealand indicate on the profile that the photos included in the gallery are genuine. Another good approach to minimise the risks is to go through the escort’s reviews and feedback from customers. This information can usually be found on the escort profile.
When it comes to the meeting itself, the customer can follow some simple steps to help him get past any problematic areas and enjoy the experience fully. A good general advice is to treat the encounter as he would a romantic one and imagine that he is about to meet his girlfriend - he should strive to make the same type of impression to the call girl. The more he puts into the meeting in terms of attention, the more he will get out of it.
Setting the scene
If it is a home visit, the client should prep the whole scene in advance. The prostitutes are professionals second and women first and therefore they are certainly not immune to the ambiance of clean, fresh, tidy room. They will appreciate the thought the client has put into the preparation. There is no need to go overboard, but as a minimum the customer needs to ensure spotless surroundings and clean bed. Some candles and a pleasant room scent can help set the mood with sensual vibes. All in all, it will be helpful for the client if he pictures the ideal setting for a tryst with his ideal girlfriend, and then try and prepare the background accordingly.
He can have some treats ready for the escort girl too – chocolates and wine are always well received, although most prostitutes will not drink during the session to ensure their cognitive and physical abilities remain unaffected.
The client should also take good care of himself prior to the meeting. Customer who is drunk, or under influence of drugs is setting himself up for failure – the call girl will be put off by any uninhibited behaviour and even if she chooses to continue with the service, she won’t be able to engage fully in it. The reactions of a man under influence of drugs or alcohol can be unpredictable, slowed down or simply absent. It is best therefore if the client remains clear-headed and sober, just like he would if he is meeting his date in a restaurant.
High level of a personal hygiene is a must. This includes oral hygiene. Of course, there is no need to go for the full spa treatment, but the customer must scrub up well! Shower with plenty of product (not just a quick rinse off), shave, clean hair and fresh breath are all essential. No need to choose extravagant clothing, but he should be dressed neatly. Like everyone who comes into close physical contact with the human body as part of their job, the sex workers appreciate cleanliness and nice smell. Groomed fingernails and smooth feet will be noted by the escort and appreciated as evidence of good habits and high self-respect – in itself, always an attractive quality.
When the escort girl arrives, the payment must be sorted. Paying up front is the usual practice. It is accepted that the payment is in cash. It is customary to place the money in a way that is visible in the room, and payment is offered to the call girl when she arrives. The client should always have the right sum ready; being out of pocket is poor taste and creates extremely awkward situation for the sex worker. Trying to haggle and lower the price when the girl arrives would also be completely unacceptable.
There is a rare risk the client should be aware of – it is possible that he might fall a victim to a scammer. The prostitute can arrive, take the money, then leave the room under a false pretence, never to return. It is very improbable, especially when booking an prostitute through a well-established agency. And it is very unlikely an independent escort will resort to such tricks, as she will be foregoing any opportunity to earn in the future – the news will travel fast and she won’t be able to get any bookings in the future. Sex workers build their professional reputation slowly and protect it diligently. However, the risk does exist, hence this word of warning to the client. Better safe than sorry - and this especially applies to inexperienced customers who are not personally acquainted with the escort. If she decides to leave for whatever reason after taking the money, the client should politely ask her to leave the money behind – better acting slightly paranoid than getting ripped off.
Once in the room the room, the escort girl will ask few questions to confirm the client’s identity and will make a phone call to the agency (if she was booked through one) to let them know all is well. This is primarily for safety reasons. When the agency has been informed that everything is happening according to the plan, the call girl has arrived and the client’s identity is confirmed, the clock will start – from then on, the escort’s time officially belongs to you.
However, the client should not take this as a signal to jump immediately to the sex. Even if he is brimming with impatience and feeling very horny, he should exchange few words with the escort, out of courtesy, but also to demonstrate that he relates to her as a person. This ice-breaking phase will set the tone of the session and help both parties to relax and feel calmer in each other’s company. To show interest, the client may ask few questions and answer some general queries about himself. There is no need to reveal too many personal details. Most prostitutes are well versed in this type of initial communication and would avoid any probing or intrusive questions. Customers should do the same, and engage in light chat, some flirting, perhaps giving few compliments. As tempting as it might be, at that opening phase they should not slip into oversharing. The call girl would not need to hear too many details about failed marriages, demanding bosses, or terrible teenage children. It is possible that in the future they will build up closer relationship and indeed many escorts are good confidantes to some of their established clients. But the firsts booking is not an opportune moment for a full-blown therapy session and profound emotional offloading – at that stage a small friendly talk will do.
The actual sex
Different sex workers use different codes to signify the beginning of the sexual part – the usual phrasing is a suggestion to the client get more comfortable, or words to this effect.
Although, by definition, most men book escorts with the firm intention to engage in sexual activity, many of them think about this moment with some trepidation. In fact, new clients can feel distinctly uneasy about it. The best advice a client can use in these circumstances is: Relax. Let go of your inhibitions, of your competitiveness and self-consciousness. You do not need to perform in certain way or prove anything to anyone. You don’t need to be the best. This is not a race. It is not a job interview or a work presentation. You are not auditioning. You are not being judged. You might be physically imperfect, fearful, nervous, but none of this matter to the woman in the room with you right now: she is here to give you pleasure, to satisfy you and indulge you. The ultimate motive for booking a call girl is to have some fun, to get sexual release and share affection. The man should remember that the escort has seen many clients before him, some better, some worse looking, in different physical shapes, of different age and health. Her time with the customer is dedicated exclusively to his pleasure, and she is happy to share her skills with him. The client should let go of his fears and anxiety and accept that sex is about being a flawed but blissfully untroubled human being, engaging in one of the most natural and joyous acts that men and women were born to do.
To benefit fully from the experience the customer should shake off any fixed attitudes about what constitutes good and bad sex. He should try and act on instinct and do what comes to him naturally – touch, stroke, caress. There is no textbook, no special requirements. As long as he is not forceful, too rushed, or too heavy-handed, the escort will respond to him in a sensual, passionate way to the best of her abilities. Prostitutes enjoy sex like other women do, and probably more so, and will always appreciate a customer who is sexually warm and caring.
It is important that the client observes the girl’s limits in terms of the services she provides. Therefore, it is crucial to agree and accept these limits in advance. The customer should not insist and certainly not nag or pester the escort to do anything in addition or instead of the sexual activities agreed in advance. Whether it is kissing or anal sex, not all call girls have the same professional boundaries and restrictions. The client should not offer extra payment or tips as a way of persuading the girl to accept his demands – such behaviour will only create discomfort and awkwardness and will ultimately result in disappointment for him.
A detail some men tend to overlook during sex is ensuring good lubrication. Plentiful lubrication is essential for good sex, and sex with an hooker is no exception. There are misconceptions about lubrication one of which is that a woman who is properly turned on would not require it as she will be naturally lubricated. The truth is that even women who are in a state of insane arousal, may experience some vaginal dryness for reasons that are completely unrelated to how exciting she finds her partner. There might be all sorts of explanations for this – some hormonal, some physiological. The vaginal dryness does not reflect on the ability of the man to turn his partner on, and the client should remember this and prepare some lubrication for the encounter. The nature of arousal means it can take some time for the woman to get fully naturally lubricated. Something simple and fairly basic like a lube in a tube, or few sachets of jelly would go a long way to make the sex smoother and more pleasurable. And, a small gesture like that will demonstrate to the sex worker that the client care for her comfort and will put her in a more responsive and affectionate mood. Sex depend as much on psychology as it does on the physical side of things. If the customer treats the escort girl with attention, she will respond physically to it, fuelling further his own arousal.
In all sexual acts the new client who has not yet established well sexual dynamic with the woman, should be mostly guided by her. Sometimes men turn to escorts to learn more about the female body and how to elicit the best sexual reactions from the woman. They seek the escort’s input and base their actions on her experience. This could be of a significant advantage for them, as a man who manages to build up a good sexual connection with a call girl will definitely learn a lot about the female sexuality from her. He would become a better lover and in his future relationships will relate to women on a deeper sexual level.
In his first encounters with the escort the client should be observant of her reactions. The way to find out if she enjoys the sex is by gentle, careful trying. He needs to watch her closely to find out: is she responsive to his touch, do her movements, posture, facial expressions show pleasure. Is she visibly enjoying his moves or simply tolerating them? The client should not be scared to try things, cautiously, tenderly – and wait for the response. One of the best positions to explore while the client and the sex companion are still learning about each other and getting used to their bodies is woman on top. The hookers generally love this as it is a good way to satisfy a customer while controlling fully the depth and angle of the penetration. It also offers to the client a full visual of the girl while making her vulva and clitoris fully accessible to him. The client should gently indicate at some point that he would like the girl to go on the top. Of course, it is possible that the woman will position herself on top without special invitation – in this case the customer should just lie back and enjoy everything that follows! Once on top, the woman will move forwards and backwards to find out the most stimulating position for her and when she gets to the perfect spot, everything will fall into rhythm. It is up to the client how much he would like to contribute to the movement through his hips and pelvis, but it is not essential, and he could just stroke the woman. Effectively, the hooker will be taking control in terms of her own pleasure while satisfying the customer using supreme skills. He does not need to wonder if he needs to go faster, harder, or deeper, as she is the one in charge here! And the prostitutes often orgasm this way, which of course, heightens the whole experience for the customer and plays a big role in achieving his own full satisfaction.
For a few men meeting escort girls will be their first sexual experience. There might be different reasons for this, which are largely immaterial. It is completely understandable that a guy who has never had sex before might feel even more nervous, shy, and apprehensive about the session. He does not need to worry and should just leave the escort to introduce him slowly and patiently to sexual act of his choice. It would be better if he is clear about his wishes – by entrusting the woman with this information he will make it easier for her to give him the best service without having to second guess his preferences and avoiding the things he does not enjoy. The more he shares about his desires, the better, but clearly, an experienced escort will understand his nervousness and will be patient when finding out. In fact, often Auckland escorts enjoy meeting a guy with little or no experience and might even find this shyness adorable. They will certainly take a lot of pleasure in fulfilling his fantasies.
Once the customer has climaxed and the sexual part of the meeting is concluded, it is time for a clean-up. If the booking is through an agency, the call girl will contact them to let them know the session is over and that she is about to leave shortly.
Although the most essential activity is now finished, it would be polite if the client says few pleasant things and perhaps compliment the companion. The experienced prostitutes will treat her customer with utmost attention right up to the moment they part ways. Therefore, it would be only fair if the client reciprocates, thank her for the nice time and tip her. Small gestures such as providing nice toiletries and freshly laundered towels in the bathroom for her to use will again make a great impression and will be remembered. The escort will make a mental note of all this and will certainly express her gratitude by providing the client with another fun and satisfying session when they next meet.